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Why I’ve Decided To Come Out of The Closet

I was raised in a Christian household headed by grandparents. Coming out of the closet in this regard may seem uncouth but necessary. Living seemingly as the only child despite having two distance siblings being raised by their biological parents, I was brought up under “old-school” rearing that shaped me to be a little modest with my way of living. That all changed when I started to get in touch with the real me. I would find joy in sneaking off with others my mother knew nothing about. I found some type of happiness from spending money on people just for a chance to spend some time with them. My parents thought this was ridiculous but little did they know that they’d subconsciously led me to such a lifestyle. I was doing things that others only read about but never did. I was in the company of what some considered to be outsiders or outcasts based upon their family situations. None of those factors deterred me and I found my way to the other side where the people were few but peace of mind was abundant.

The day I told my mother that I wanted to share with the world who I really was and what made me happy she called me a fool. She told me that she didn’t work her butt off to send me to the best schools and parade me around the socially elite for me to throw my life away as “one of those people.” She told me how she had had high hopes for me and that I was wasting my life on a mere fantasy, one I thought that society would be accepting of. Her words stabbed me symbolically for a few moments until I realized that there was no turning back. At the age of 33, I decided to come out of the closet as a Philanthropic Entrepreneur. Yup, I finally admitted it.

I bet you’re wondering why such a thing is a big deal. Over the years people who lived their lives to help others were seen as delusional tree hugging individuals unable to accept their reality. Scraping up a profession hiding behind passion because they just wouldn’t be able to make it within the real world. When you’re a giver that means that you’re probably not going to live a comfortable lifestyle and would rather struggle with the necessities rather than hoarding an abundance of things you MIGHT need. My mother held food drives, fundraisers for the needy and assisted her former students and their families any way she could as a Chicago Public School teacher on the West Side of Chicago. Yet, that was only part of what she did. She could never understand why a person would want to live their life constantly being reintroduced to the everyday struggles that others had to go through. The wear and tear on your heart that poverty, abuse, poor education and genocide will could do to you is unthinkable.

I walked away from our conversation knowing that my view-point wasn’t changed. I’d always been a helper. For goodness sake I was a Director of Student Engagement at CPS and  I’m now a flight attendant. I’m a natural server. I jump at the call of duty to help someone without thinking twice. I give my last most of the time because I know I’ll be alright and it’ll work out in the end. My mother and father never wanted me to struggle and to live a life where money was never an issue. Even in poverty , it still isn’t. So, I’ve spent the last few months soul-searching and documenting my spiritual growth. On this quest I’ve highlighted how to Manifest Your Destiny. I’m happy to announce that I’ll finally be able to share it with you all on 7/11/15. It feels good to finally be free-living the life I was meant to live!

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© Copyright 2017 - Jessica LaShawn the Social Entrepreneur Mentor
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