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Polygamy Will Save The Black Community

Polygamy Will Save The Black Community – a quote like that can start a spiritual war that I just don’t have the battle gear for. I was in a deep conversation with a close male friend that wanted to tell me why he finds it so hard to stay committed in a relationship as a man. His main reason rested upon the sole idea of him being a man. By breaking down the make up of a man, he pinpointed the belief that marriage, monogamy and traditional structures of family are the downfall to society as a whole but Polygamy could save the Black Community.

I was in utter shock when he mentioned this to me but as his friend I had to hear him out and let him explain to me the meaning behind his radical and out of the blue theory. We all know that the current state of the African-American community isn’t pleasant. There are more single parent homes than ever before, a large decline in educational growth amongst African-American men (which fluctuates and is almost even with African-American women currently) and the overwhelming prison population totals, in short, our people are suffering. I was eager to hear how polygamy would rescue our people from all of that when my friend broke down the dynamic of the community’s fall. Basically, black women out numbers the total of African-American men and men are naturally interested in more than one woman at a time. “Wouldn’t we create a stronger family role if men were able to build multiple families under an umbrella of marriage? We see this all the time with the brotherhood in Africa. They were on to something. The key is being able to take care of your family” he mentioned.

I know that as an African-American woman who prefers to date African men, I hear this theory all of the time as a warning to never date and or consider marrying an African man. (I will save the stereotypes that come along with my preference for the next blog so get ready!) He went on to say that men were set up to procreate without limitations and that can be proven by way of their sperm count. Women are supposed to be selective in who they procreate with which is why they only have one womb and can carry (for the most part) only one mans child (or children) at a time. Whereas, men can mate with numerous women at the same time and create a wave of offspring with multiple women. (Am I the only one that remembered when Lil Wayne was on his way to jail and all of a sudden got a few women pregnant at the same time. Gosh he really did try to sow his royal oats huh.)

This still didn’t explain how polygamy can save the black community. He mentioned that the overall issue is with a lack of available brothers with the proper mindset and establishment in society that can “scoop” up all of the women they would want to build families with. Some of them can already be blended. So, he wants to activate the “Captain Save Her” mission all across America. So, ladies, I guess we should get a sign up list started so that all the well off men can marry us in bulk and play the role of father to our fatherless children. This sounds ridiculous but at the same time sounds like an extreme gesture to right what is currently wrong.

What is wrong with polygamy anyway. I get all upset in my predetermined moral gene pool about it because as a child I was told it was wrong. I know that I am a Christian and I was raised a Christian. I don’t know if it is strength or stupidity that forces me to remain loyal to how I was raised without an open mind to embracing something else whole heartedly. Now what does that rant have to do with the topic? It is the same concept with polygamy? Why do we hate it? Why is it bad and more importantly why is it ONLY seen from a male perspective. Polygamy seems sexist. If I had “Oprah” money and wanted to marry a troop of guys, do you think they would go for that? The root of polygamy is the mans ability to take care of the woman but gender roles will hinder a woman from being able to “FULLY” take care of multiple men.

How can polygamy benefit us when it will only add another form of division amongst us. I can see it now. Oh, she is one of those polygamist, she couldn’t find her own single man so she had to go away with a tribe to have a respectable family. Lord Jesus, it would be a fire. I know this is totally left field but it is worth the discussion. Are we at the end of the bridge for correcting the issues within the African-American community and is this a possible key to reactivating the role of family within our community?

Comments (9)

  1. An adult should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults. It is entirely legal and accepted to have children by more than one partner, and to have multiple marriages, but not be married to two people at the same time? What sense is that? The polygamous freedom to marry is a necessary part of full marriage equality.

  2. First off the way to correct the wrongs in our communities is not through polygamy or any other issue dealing in matters of love between man and woman. Yet, it is the respect between the two. Over the years our Queens started to lean so heavily on the phrase INDEPENDENT WOMAN that it made them forget about the laws that God set forth. That the man is the head of the household regardless of income or any other man made reasonings. Both men and women are responsible for the downfall of BLACK education. Men stopped being role models and began looking for handouts. Women started to progress and forgot the necessity of a man. Yes a man ks supposed to provide, protect, and motivate. However, women are the rib that can change a mans5 future and they dont realize it. Just like a man can make a woman better if he steps to the plate and deals with the issues head on, so can a woman. At the end of the day, the solution is for us, as a people, to stop making excuses, stop getting comfortable at the bottom and progress for ourselves.

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      1. All of the great biblical prophets and leaders were polygynous and historical documentation proves that even first-century Christians allowed polygyny, for it wasn’t outlawed until the Roman Church forbade it centuries later, for patriarchal Romans had outlawed polygyny when they were still “pagans”, basically, polygyny was first developed in matrifocal cultures. Women were always in the majority and they organized and united within households.

        Marriage as an institution has always been more about uniting families, tribes, nations, and socioeconomic benefits more than merely infatuation.

        Now that we got a few of the facts right…I believe polygyny would help our community greatly, for right now, no matter how you slice it, our very exaggerated and very unnatural male-female imbalance can’t be resolved civilly otherwise. Secondly, this creates badly needed unified socioeconomic constructs in the form of family loyalties and bonds. Third, our form of polygyny would be more constructive and powerful than merely the ole one man trying to “bring home all the bacon”, for right now, even most modern monogamist relationships include independently-intelligent working wives, which should be sustained under polygyny.

        If less than a fourth of eligible and marriageable Black were polygynous we could probably eradicate single motherhood, illegitimacy, misguided youth behavior, and great amount of poverty in one generation.

  4. Yes, there are numerous examples of polygamy in the bible. I don’t see any of them as being “happy” community building unions. For example, Abraham/Sarah/Hagar: this family was so great that Hagar despised he other two when she found out she was pregnant ( hmmm she didn’t want to be a part of it) and Hager was certainly not a single Mother when she and her son were exiled into the desert by Abraham and Sarah. Another great example, Jacob/Leah/Rachel: two unhappy women, one unloved and one barren. So much love in the house that one set of brothers sold a half brother into slavery…..way to solidify the family and build the community.

    If adults want to live in polygamous unions, perhaps they should be allowed to do so. But, Polygamy isn’t going to solve the problems of black America. It’s not going to decrease the rate of sexually transmitted diseases, it’s absolutely not going to teach discipline, respect, or personal accountability. Deadbeat men will still have plenty of children who have little to no support financially, emotionally, or socially. Or, are you suggesting that a hardworking woman (black or otherwise) who agrees to a polygamous union is going to use her resources to lower her standard of living to help support the brood created by the deadbeat man and other women. Yeah…good luck with that one.

    What will help black Americans is the decrease of structural racism and discrimination in the USA, education, discipline, personal responsibility, and hard work.

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