All my life I’ve had to fight! I was raised by my grandparents (whom I call mom and dad) and they taught me two different perspectives on money in a relationship. My parents never taught me how to save and build wealth but they did teach me that there are times and ways to ask a man for his money. Over the years I’ve been told that I haven’t taken full advantage of some opportunities while dating certain guys.
An associate of mine dates professional athletes all of the time. She’s exposed to them due to her owning her own business as a seamstress. She’s one of the go-to girls to make your clothes fit right. She makes sure that a rich guy shows his love by paying her mortgage on her home or retail space, buying her a car and expensive accessories. Honey, she gets it if you’re getting it. Doing so is a must for her because you need to pay for her time. She constantly asks for money.
I am not that kind of girl. My mother told me that you don’t put out unless he’s paying bills. My daddy taught me that you should never need a man to pay your necessities but let him pay for your leisure by choice. My father was serious about not asking men for money because that would make me look like a whore. Yet, my mom always said that a man has to pay if he wants to lay and play. Why was this financial plan instilled in me and more traditional ones weren’t? Which seems to be more beneficial? To this day I’m torn.
I’m not impressed by men with money because I was with a man when he lost it all! That lesson taught me early on that you don’t deal with someone because they are rich, you deal with someone because they make you happy and better. After talking with a few teens about money I’m noticing that the same message is being instilled in our youth. We are so focused on someone giving to us that we aren’t made aware of how important it is to have and or make your own. I have 15 year old girls telling me that they have guys pay for everything.
What’s my point? Should a woman ask a man for money while they are dating? I have serious issues with this personally. If we aren’t married I have no business asking you for money. Am I being naive? If you’re a fan of “the ask” please let me know what you think is fair to give in return for receiving money from a man. Also, if you’re a fan of “the ask”, is the ask open to me as well? Can a guy I’m seeing ask me for money?
I posted this quote on Facebook ;
You can date a woman that asks for your money to spend it on shoes or you could date a woman that asks for your money to invest in things that’ll make ya more money! I’m just saying! Dusts shoulders off!
This comment came from me sending info on an amazing investment to a guy I’m sweet on. Shhhhh, don’t judge me. The guy was amazed and I secretly thought this move would make me look like a true catch for him without me saying hey I’m giving this to you because you’re fine! I know that’s “slow “ but hey I can’t do any better with my approach right now or way of thinking. A few of my FB folks said that they see nothing wrong with both. But I do!
I have a hard time asking a man for money. If you’re going to ask a man for money make the ask worth it! Make the ask showcase a way that’ll make more money. I may be a little wayward in my thinking to some but that’s why I blog. I love to express my opinion and read the opinions of others. Please share your thoughts and your stories. How has “THE ASK” benefited or harmed you?