How desperate are you to get and or keep a man? Are you willing to lower your standards or put yourself in compromising situations just to have a stronger sense of approval from a certain target of affection. Women usually don’t notice the subtle hints they send men on the regular basis that are tell tales for those who are wise enough and experienced enough to play the game, the game of hearts. I have A LOT of male friends and I swear I don’t sleep with them! I see them from a vantage point that normally only lesbians or extremely unattractive women get to witness. I bet you’re thinking I must be in one of the two previous categories in order to see the behind the scenes action that takes place and partake in the inner workings of the man circle. Nope, I come in as a girl about business and usually befriend men through professional extension that sooner or later crosses over into a platonic friendship. I’ve seen and heard things from phenomenal and upstanding gentleman that have honed my ability to see the foolery that blinds women constantly. I asked a few guys what they wish women would stop doing and this is what they had to say.
Honey I know he is fine and you are eager to talk to him but you just met. You can not expect someone to alt , control and delete something in their regularly scheduled program and replace it with you. You can not control how often a man thinks of you and desires to communicate with you. If he wants you he will put forth the effort to let you know YOU crossed his mind organically. Patience is a virtue.
” I text the woman I am most interested in as soon as I wake up because I honestly wish I were waking up next to her. If I don’t text a girl or call a girl in the am it’s because I will only going to butter her up when I know I will ask her over for a little one on one time. Some girls are so eager for some attention they will let you get away with not talking to them for days and suddenly invite them over and they will come. Yeah I keep those girls around for pleasure only” (Dan, 38, Doctor)
Honey Chile, if he hasn’t responded to your first text you do not need to send another text. I do not care if you sent your good morning scripture in a mass message at 7:32 AM. He hasn’t responded, probably because you sent him a text message in a group text which you should never do for confidentiality reasons. Secondly, stop saying that that doesn’t count as a text message to him because it was in a group text. If you wrote it and sent it from your phone it counts as an act of communication. Dont get frustrated at 12 noon and figure that he needs a personalized text in hopes of sparking up a conversation.
“If a girl texts me constantly I just know that she is trying too damn hard. I get that a girl can REALLY like you but when she focuses on you too much that lets you know that she may be a little clingy, lonely and or needy. I will test a girl and ignore her in the early stages just to see how she responds. That has saved me a few basket case situations. I hate when girls do that. It’s just like calling numerous times. We aint’ even together and you’re blowing up my damn phone.” (Josh, 33, Stock Broker)
Planning The Date
Some women get so eager to go out with a man they are willing to plan the date. I personally think this is a downfall because it takes the control out of the mans hands. It shows from the door that if things aren’t the way you like you will take over. If that is the case what do you want and or need a man for? Let a man be a man and handle things the way a man should. I am a proud partial feminist that still believes in fundamental gender roles because a few are critical to our mode of survival. Sure planning a date won’t save the world but a woman has to lay small seeds of hope, trust and faith in her man if there ever comes a time for him to step up and show off his king of the jungle instincts.
“JL, I’m busy, and if I think there is a real future there I wanna show a woman just how good I plan on treating her. When women want to take that away from me I lose respect for them immediately. That lets me know that they aren’t open and willing to be ‘wooed” and I just want some ass after that. ” (Oju , 36, Lawyer)
Whew, this one right here, I’m sure most women aren’t aware of. You need patience to date. For the most part women are ready to immediately implant a man in their life as the center of their love and affection whereas most men need to find a reason to do the same even if he has been chasing you down for years. You need to earn a commitment from a man while women offer it automatically. When I talk about patience I am referring to the ability to move slow and get to know someone. This will help you better determine if the two of you are worth each others time. You need to be relaxed when communicating and talk about the fundamentals of who a person is, what makes them tick, ask about their family and their career. You do not need to talk about how awesome your reverse cowgirl is or how long his deep stroke is for at least a month. Doing so shows you’re eager to hop in bed and not jump in his mind first. If only people knew that the sex is so much better when you KNOW who you are sharing your body with rather than giving it away to a stranger. (shrug)!
“If you talk to a woman every day in the beginning all day and constantly you set up a false relationship and develop premature feelings for someone. I’m a widow, I knew the difference with what happened between me and my wife and me with other women. I was able to build something real with my wife because we took it slow. Other women just rushed and that helped me get into bed with them. Now that I am in my 30’s I feel bad about that but you’re helping me to tell women to stop it so that helps my karma. If you want something real limit how much you talk to a person on the phone and or text, reserve deep conversations for face to face over diner, that way you can keep the convo tasteful and respectful. I swear by this. If you want a QUALITY relationship that can lead to marriage this is the key. It promotes love over lust! ” (Brian, 34, Plastic Surgeon)
Listen here ladies, do not accept the bullshit. You know it is bullshit when you hear it. When you get that small alert in your spirit that says yeah he’s playing, listen to it. It is there for a reason. This is the number one sign that you are a goof ball and will probably give it up the first night or within a week if you allow a man to tell you anything. I must admit, sometimes I listen to the game and play along just to see how far it will go. I subject myself to foolery just so I can have yet another experience to blog about for you guys. I suffer for you. But if a man tells you I’m not ready for a relationship ask him why in the hell is he wasting his time talking to you. Seriously, ask him that. It will let him know that you are straight forward and see him for the ‘bullshitter’ he is. Men only tell you that because they know automatically you aren’t what they are looking for in a wife but they’d love to see what you can do between the sheets. If a man tells you he isn’t looking for a relationship believe him. Dont enter into dedicating your time to someone who isn’t going to give you a chance off the top. See here, if I saw my dream job and applied for it I’m not going to go to the interview and tell my potential employer that I’m not ready for a full-time position. Let that marinate why don’t cha.
“I tell women I’m busy with work all of the time. I do have a stressful job but I make time for what I want. I’m an established gentleman. Im what most black women want to get their hands on. I know this that’s why I play the field. I need women to stay in line and play their position until I find a queen that clears the board. Until then I give excuses and tell girls what they want to hear but a woman will see through that. That’s what stands out and when you stand out that’s when I know how to act and treat you. A woman who deserves more doesn’t tolerate less. ” (John, 38, Principal)
God Bless Y’all
Good Day , Afternoon and or Night