Life is full of ups and downs and twists and turns that no one can see coming.Most of us just want to be healthy, successful, rich and popular. Things really start to settle in when you begin closing your twenties and opening your thirties. All of the sudden the world revolves around three main questions: “When are you going to get married?”, “Shouldn’t you be having babies by now?” and “What do you plan on doing for the rest of your life?” I have to deal with the trinity of none- of- your- business every time I make an appearance at a family gathering or even a block club meeting in my old neighborhood.
Why is it that old schoolers can’t handle the generational mindset that deters marriage and child-birth until a certain level of stability is established with a worthy partner. Now a days divorce is the best friend of marriage and things seem a little pointless but somewhere deep down inside I believe most of us wonder what it would be like to live that white picked fence dream.
It seems that my Granny is in more of a rush for me to say “I Do” than I am since she spent an hour on the phone chatting with my college sweetheart. We always joked around about getting married when we turned 30 if we weren’t already settled in with someone else. Welp, thirty is right around the corner and we keep having this odd conversations as if we just might fulfill our love-sick promise. I don’t know what to do. We vowed to get engaged on his 30th birthday which is a few weeks away and get married on my 30th birthday in early January. The idea of it actually happening makes me want to soil myself.
I think I would actually get married just to get it over with and I’d be marrying one of my best friends. Then again, I have an outstanding obsession with an ex of mine that makes my heart flutter every time I think he is in close distance. I thought I was over this until a random run in with him last week left me floored.
How do you know if it’s right for you. I’m sure everyone that has ever been faced with walking down that aisle has questioned if they are picking the right person or not. How do you know if you’re really ready? I found myself looking at rings online to send him pictures of just in case he really does go to the store and buys an engagement ring. I’ve been engaged before during my junior year of college to someone else and had to end that because I JUST WASN’T ready. Well, he went on to get married and is happily every after with someone else that looks just like me. LOL.
Needless to say when a man is ready, he is ready and I think I can be ready if he is but how do I know which way to go? He’s one of my best friends and we can talk for hours but there is this guy from my past that I never got the chance to fully try with. Should I just leave that alone and go for the gold that I am for sure will work out or do I let curiosity drive me crazy before I slip into one of the biggest decisions in my life?
All I know for sure is that when I do walk down the aisle it will be to Brandy “He Is” and hopefully she will be there singing it for me to HIM (whoever he may be)