Every week we are taken on an emotional and moral ride that forces us to dig out the bones in our closets to see what’s really going on underneath it all. It is crazy to think that our moral compass can be shaped by a few one hour tv shows that earn our dedication and devotion just to satisfy our hidden desire for drama. We’ve heard the phrase implying that behind every great man is an even greater woman. Tonight’s episode showed us just how powerful that sentiment is. I couldn’t help but ask a few questions after this chilling episode that made me rethink a few of my life’s decisions within a relationship and or a leadership role.
Like Olivia, I am a fixer. I’ve avoided owning up to this for years but I just love fixing things. It’s so easy to fix the issues, problems, drama and situations of others because once I’ve fixed it, it’s handled. I wish I could do that with my own relationships and problems but I can’t. I can’t because I don’t have a fixer in my corner. I fix boyfriends. I fix businesses. I fix people. I fix friends. I fix everyone and everything because I can’t fix myself. I can’t fix my hardships but I can listen and fix yours.
The President needs to be fixed constantly. Olivia was drawn to that from the start. Focusing on fixing him and his problems added value to her life as well as being a much-needed distraction. The constant play on her being able to escape a permanent condition to issues is not just about her freedom but more about her ability to leave when there is nothing else left to fix.
How many of us can relate to fixing things? As women we are raised to be multitaskers. Somehow someway we are supposed to use our super human vaginal powers to end world hunger, poverty, depression and more. Women boast about being the CEO of a fortune 500 company with a baby on the hip while rocking manicured nails and “frayless” hair. We were taught to admire the woman who can do it all and make it seem so easy. Why? It is simple, because women are fixers.
What level of fixer are you and how much fixing are you going to be willing to do? The more powerful a man is or you make him the more fixing you’ll have to do daily. Some men love to be fixed! They love to be saved by their help mate and that takes all of the pain of decision-making go away. There is something so simplistic about no longer having full responsibility that allows you to enjoy life a little more when you have someone in your corner that can fix things. It’s only a problem when everyone else realizes the true power of the greater woman behind the great man when fixing becomes a disgrace. Why? Oh, because a woman is still seen as less capable of fixing things although women have been the backbone of fixing since the beginning of time. A man loses his credibility when folks find out that his lady is the real mastermind solving problems.
Tonight’s episode reminded me of the gender divide that continually plagues our society and we are ok with it in certain situations. We like to be dainty when it benefits us and we like to be in charge when it challenges us. As an overly aggressive woman who loves to fix things, I was reminded of my place within tonight’s episode. I was reminded of the place I’ve been over and over again within every relationship I’ve ever been in. My place has always been behind a great man fixing things as an even greater woman. I was kissed, hugged, loved and cherished until my passion for fixing became public.
Oh how your man loves you when he’s asking for your opinion and you give it. Oh how you are cherished when you have a bright idea that can take him from zero to 60 in a millisecond. Oh how you are divine in their eyes for your genius flair until it all falls down and those walls no longer hide the truth. Your secret of fixing things is no longer safe. People see you for the man in a skirt that you are and you are judged for wonderful mind and ability to help a man. Not just any man but YOUR MAN!
My questions to you ladies and gents start with the premise of fixing things? At one point do you stop, step back, and live outside of the gender roles and fixing stuff? When does it become more important to focus on creating a life more than fixing it? When can I as a woman be allowed and respectfully able to fix things without undermining my man? When can I just be his helpmate ? When can I just be his other half solving problems? Why is it that me being a great woman harms his reputation as a great man? Yet, we get mad when men marry intellectually challenged women. I just can’t deal. All I want to know is how can I fix it?